The human mind and the human heart are complex things. How anyone can have the ability to memorise, learn, and express emotions, but not everyone can, is intriguing. It was indeed tragic how certain things could easily bring a person down. How a horrible word could trigger years of denied darkness and a dirty look from a stranger could release memories of societies previous refusal. One's disappointment towards Emma recalled her of how much she believed she was a failure, an excuse for a human being, a girl who regardless how hard she tried to be perfect, would never succeed, and would always hurt another.
This was not the case. Emma was kind. Emma was pure. Emma was innocent. Emma was smart. She was an outstanding human being, but she disagreed entirely.
"I am cruel, I am toxic,
I am wrong, I am dumb,
I am stupid, I am foolish,
I began a war; I had not won"
Only one, I admit, I had agreed with, and that was the fact that Emma was wrong. She was wrong about her current judgement of herself. It would be accepted to feel sorry for the girl, she was considered to be one of the mad in the world, though she was just as mentally disturbed ad the other robots in society.
The only difference is Emma recognised it.
She had felt guilty for the trauma she caused, and she felt ashamed for letting the words fall from her lips. She consumed her whole body with the liquid of regret. No longer smiling. No longer comfortable. No longer carrying a heavy brain. But, instead a heavy mind.
"I'm sorry Mum and Dad,
I know I messed up bad.
I didn't mean for any of this to happen.
I couldn't take the lies,
I didn't want to cry,
Or die, and die, and die again.
I couldn't handle the pain,
I couldn't play life's game,
And be ashamed, ashamed of the truth"
Emma stood in front of the window, not looking at the rain, but looking at her own tears. I knew she wished she kept her mouth shut, but we all had some insight that the truth would come out. And it was believed to be lies. She was such a smart girl, how could anyone consider otherwise? How could one have ears and not hear? How could one have eyes, but be blind?
Some, most and all always fill themselves with denial.
But one day, it will overflow...